If the Leafs continue to win as they did tonight, I’ll be divorced before 2011.

Here are the words and sounds that came hurtling out of my mouth starting at 4:16 of the third when those magnificent Leaf bastards embarked upon their biggest comeback of the season: “GRABBO!!! YEAAHHH!!!” “TIMMY BRENT!!! BOOYAAAH!!!” “MACARTHUR!!! EEEEE—!!!” (I momentarily lost my voice on that last one.)

“What the hell is going on down there?” asked my wife, suddenly appearing on the basement steps like a furious apparition. “You’re going to wake up the children!”

“Woman, I don’t care!” I screamed, kicking over an ottoman and scaring the cats. “The Leafs tied it up in the third! They were losing 4-1 to Washington! FOUR-TO-ONE! We’re going to overtime, baby! Come down here and high-five me!”

She left me hanging. But, whatever!